The Age of Authenticity
“To attract followers, a leader has to be many things to many people. The trick is to pull that off while remaining true to yourself.” – Robert Goffee + Gareth Jones
These days, it seems we cannot turn our head without the word “authenticity” in our faces. If authenticity was a product, it would surely be a hot seller. Clearly, the game of being authentic has become high stakes – – one only needs to watch the pundits square off on presidential hopefuls to see how high stakes it is. But what is authenticity? And, is it really as important as the weight we put on it? When asked the meaning of being authentic, most folks surface ideas of “being true to oneself”, “being comfortable in one’s own skin”, “walking the talk”. The problem is that these are all self-centered attributes focused on how one feels about oneself. According to Webster’s dictionary, authenticity is “a state of being that can be believed, is trusted and deemed reliable.” Authenticity is thereby a relational behavior rather than a self-centered one. To be truly authentic, one must not only be able to be comfortable with herself, but also comfortably connect with others.
Take a coaching client, Mark, a vice-president of a technology company. When we first met, he asked me what I thought of him. Given that I had only briefly interacted with him up to that point, it was a risky question to answer – – yet a very important one given what I had observed thus far. Here was my response: “Clearly you are intelligent, ambitious and passionate about the work that you do. You appear to always have the ‘right’ answer to my questions yet I wonder if they are your ‘real’ answers. I feel like you tell me what you think I want to hear. So I’ll be curious to find out if others in your organization are experiencing you the same way.” My response was a hypothesis – – his 360 feedback from his peers and boss provided the data to drive the point home. Mark was seen as someone whom you never knew where he stood on the issues nor where you stood with him. His colleagues had over time lost trust in him because they were never sure if what he said was truly what he meant. This was a clear example of showing lack of authenticity because of an inability to be comfortable with one’s own perspective, stance and direction nor connecting to what others need. As a leader, others want to know where you stand so they know whether to follow or walk with you – – they do not want to have to guess or be blindsided midstream.
While there is not a quick fix to increasing one’s authenticity, there are several focus areas that will certainly help you get on a positive path. We refer to them as the 3 P’s: Point of View, Position, and Personal History.
Point of View: By articulating his point of view on organizational issues, challenges and disagreements, Mark became more comfortable speaking his mind and being challenged on it. Having a point of view is critical to being authentic. Being open and willing to engage in exchanges on that point of view accentuates your leadership even further by demonstrating both strength and flexibility in the midst of challenges and change.
Positioning: While taking a position is important, over-positioning yourself within an organization is detrimental. Know the difference between navigating the political waters of your organization vs. actually becoming the politics itself. Mark became more forthright in his efforts to implement change in the organization – – rather than working primarily behind the scenes, he encouraged an open forum on the issues. Get support for your initiatives but be transparent about what you are doing, why you are doing it and how you are doing it.
Personal History: At the core, one needs to connect with their personal history and identify the key events, messages, people that shaped who they are today. Growing up, Mark did not come from a privileged socio- economic background. When he was sent to elite schools at a young age, the message he received was “to survive in this system, you need to watch your back and not rock the boat.” While that message might have served him well then, it was no longer serving him in the corporate leadership world. Exploring your personal history will often surface messages that are worth reexamining in order to truly express your authentic self.
As the path to Election 2016 continues and we watch with interest the pundits argue who is authentic and who is not, reflect on your own path: if you were the candidate, what would we be saying about your authenticity?
What’s your path to authenticity?
- What do people think you stand for? What point of view do you take on the various dimensions of your work and personal life?
- Observe how you navigate your organization and your relationships. To what extent do you seek to understand and consider other’s agendas without becoming too chameleon-like?
- What steps can you take tomorrow to engender trust from others yet remain true to yourself?
– Muriel Maignan Wilkins