Confidence: Can You Build It?
Confidence – we all want it. And, we all look for it in others, especially those in positions of leadership. Yet, time and time again, I encounter executives who do not feel confident nor exude confidence to others. (I also encounter those who are overly confident – to the point that they are blinded by it – but that is a topic for another article!) What these executives fail to realize is that what makes you confident in one situation will not necessarily have the same effect under different circumstances. Therefore, external circumstances cannot dictate one’s confidence. Otherwise, your confidence feels like a loose piece of newspaper on a windy day – – swirling every which way depending on the force and direction of the wind. So, the real question is: “What builds a leader’s confidence?” The answer lies in the three primary confidence-builders: Facts, Focus, and Faith.
Face the Facts: The starting point for building confidence in a difficult situation is to face the facts. A review of one’s past accomplishments and professional track record typically shows that successes far outweigh failures. One need only look at a Tiger Woods to reinforce that idea – do any of his tour losses undermine his phenomenal track record? No – his record speaks for itself. Likewise, executives have track records with successes, and more importantly, with failures that they endured.
Take for example, an executive whom I coached at a global marketing services firm– we’ll call him James. Having recently been promoted to a Vice-President position, James found himself facing new challenges: turning around a low-morale staff, driving new strategic initiatives, and rebuilding the reputation of his department. In addition, he now had a whole new set of relationships to manage given his position including being part of the executive team and being frequently sought after for advice by the CEO. “I often feel like I am going to ‘get caught’ – – that someone is going to realize that they made a mistake by promoting me into this position,” said James at one of our coaching meetings. When James stepped into the executive suite, his confidence leapt out the window. After taking inventory of the various promotions that he had received throughout his career, James realized that he had successfully faced new, albeit different, challenges before. His success track record served as a basis of fact against the uncertainty he currently felt regarding his ability to excel in his new role.
Focus: With a track record as the foundation, it is helpful to focus on one’s strengths to build confidence. Research shows that most people are very strong in a few competencies, weak in several others and average in the majority of skills. Rather than trying to be perfect at everything, successful leaders primarily focus on leveraging their strengths and closely managing their “average” and “weaker” areas. With the help of a 360 assessment, James accepted that he was not going to be great at everything (nor did anyone expect him to be). He recognized that his strengths in “managing others” and “creating vision” would be key contributing factors to his success in his role. By focusing on his contributions, James grew more confident that he could accomplish some of the challenges ahead.
Faith: It is not by chance that the Latin root of the word confidence is “con fide” which translates into “with faith”. Ultimately, faith is a belief in the unseen. Leaders are called to create vision and change for the future out of uncertainty – fundamentally, they operate on a level of faith that gives purpose and strength to the path that they carve out for their organizations. James’s fear of failing obstructed his ability to step out on the faith he needed to believe he could succeed in this role despite the newness of it all. By shifting his attention to the excitement of building, creating and leading something new, he tapped into a deeper purpose for his role beyond his own day-to- day successes and challenges. His confidence in the future gave him the ability to accept his place as Vice President and make the impact that he had been asked to make.
Confidence is a constant practice of building – especially as one’s circumstance change. By tapping into a blend of Facts, Focus and Faith, you can continuously strengthen your confidence to prepare you for the next level. And when that next challenge comes your way, do not be surprised that others remark, “You are so confident – – how do you do it?”
Reflection Questions:
- Think of a particular challenging situation or circumstances in which you lack confidence. What fear is obstructing your confidence in this situation?
- What facts do you have from your past, which show how you have overcome similar, albeit, not the identical challenges?
- What can your strengths contribute to working through the situation?
- What will you need to believe, even though it does not yet exist or you cannot see it (faith),to make you feel more confident about the situation?
– Muriel Maignan Wilkins