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Leadership Growth Addition by Subtraction?

2021-04-09T11:01:30-04:00April 8, 2016|Amy Jen Su, Leading Others, Leading Self, Paravis Partners|

As we reflect back to 2008 – when the news of Lehman Brothers and Merrill Lynch broke – we recall the impact of the world financial crisis at work and home. We witnessed layoffs, attempted to make sense of shrunken retirement accounts, and watched our businesses slow. On some level, we were shaken to the core – the crisis dancing all too closely to our fundamental needs as human beings for safety, security, and a sense of belonging. However, in the midst of this greater state of contraction and fear, came the opportunity to find the leadership paradox inherent in any situation. As a coach, this provided an opportunity to help myself and others reframe our view of “contraction or subtraction”. In moving beyond the negative connotations, in what areas of life could “subtraction” actually be additive if we peeled away the excess or the unnecessary extras?

Physical Spaces & Health: There was much written about using the downturn as an opportunity to simplify our lives – finding efficiencies in our offices/homes and doing less with material things. As I’ve worked with leaders through the years on managing time and energy, it’s been amazing to see the immediate relief from overwhelm by cleaning up spaces, streamlining routines, and focusing on the critical path. And just like our physical spaces, we can bring “addition by subtraction” to our bodies and health as well. Reducing caffeine, sugar, and even cutting down our expectations that a workout is at least an hour, we can increase and add to our physical energy. Walking for 20 minutes a day is better than not at all and more often an achievable goal. Small reductions bring real gains.

Relationships & Communication: We might also look to reducing the excess and unnecessary extras in our relationships and communication with others. What would happen if we became less reactive to difficult colleagues or teammates? What if we lessened our attachment to personal or functional agendas and led as an owner of the firm or enterprise wide leader? As we shrink our reactive cycle times spent in anger, guilt, frustration, or judgment, we increase our energy and productivity as well as increase the likelihood of achieving strategic priorities and organizational goals. As we streamline our communications, filter our messages, and ask questions that shape others’ thinking, we see gains in executive presence and our abilities to influence others.

Mental Clarity: Interestingly, as leaders make key subtractions in the first two domains above, they gain an additional positive effect on their mental clarity and state of mind. As physical spaces and bodies clear, relationships strengthen, and communications become more effective, our minds begin to ease as well. Couple this with reducing the ways we distract ourselves from the true tasks or issues at hand – watching TV, surfing the internet, checking email – we gain greater clarity of mind that brings gains in productivity, decision making, and strategic thinking. I’ve even seen some clients finally get a good night’s sleep after learning how to reduce and manage their own mental churning and worry.

Values & Attitudes: Ultimately, the financial crisis gave us an opportunity as leaders to examine the very values and attitudes which led to a state of excess in the first place. Perhaps the downturn in the economy gave us a view into “subtraction by addition” – leadership whereby the fundamental tenants and values of stewardship, accountability, and responsibility were chipped away at for gains in greed, territory, and consumption. What would happen then if we did the reverse and shed layers of ego? What would happen if we refused gains in situations where we’re asked to compromise our relationships, quality, or even worse, our integrity?

Take a look at your own world today. What excess or extras could you subtract and what would emerge? Perhaps, first a very difficult look at holes we’ve actually been trying to fill with the excess – meaning, purpose, and intimacy in our lives. Or perhaps, taking away the unnecessary extras would give you a taste of the essentials and my suspicion is again, you’d find the parts and people that bring meaning, purpose, and intimacy as well.

Reflection:

“When you make some special effort to achieve something, some excessive quality, some extra element is involved in it. You should get rid of excessive things…when you bow, you should just bow; when you sit, you should just sit; when you eat, you should just eat. If you do this, the universal nature is there…”

– Zen Master Shunryu Suzuki

Take a moment to reflect on your growth as a leader – what could you subtract or limit in your life that would bring new energy or time to the key priorities, initiatives, or values in your life?

Reflection Questions:

  1. Where do I have excess or unnecessary extras in my life?
  2. What would I gain if I let go of, subtracted, or reduced these?
  3. What is the one “subtraction” I could make right now in my life that would be most “additive”?

– Amy Jen Su

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The Four C’s: Inspiring Others’ Confidence in You

2021-04-09T10:32:28-04:00April 8, 2016|Amy Jen Su, Leading Others, Paravis Partners, Presence, Leadership, and Communications|

Much has been written on the topic of self-confidence and how to develop the inner strength and conviction it takes to be a senior leader. However, more than not, our career progression does not occur in a vacuum. The

reality of the corporate world today is that the more senior you become, the more others’ weigh into key decisions around your gaining advancement, making it into the senior ranks, or being considered in the succession planning process. A large part of developing as a leader thereby requires asking not only what drives your own self- confidence but also what impacts your ability to inspire others’ confidence in your leadership potential?

Confidence: The first pillar in inspiring others’ confidence is your mindset about yourself as a leader. Take, Leslie, a principal in a global professional services firm for many years. It seemed Leslie was always on the brink of being put into the partner election process of her firm but each year the partners hesitated – always just enough lack of confidence in Leslie in terms of her readiness for the next step.

However, it was clear upon meeting Leslie that she herself was also unsure if she deserved a seat at the table. Leslie had to first change her view of herself to one of believing she was a peer and trusted advisor to both her clients and colleagues. She had to understand and see the unique value and distinction she did add to the firm before others could begin to see this as well.

Communication: How we communicate is a big part of how others’ perceive us and thus can enhance others’ confidence in us as well. Critical to gaining credibility includes our ability to be clear and crisp in our point of view while also being able to read and influence different audiences and stakeholders. Further, others judge our reliability and initiative based on how well we strategically inform, update, or make direct requests of others.

In Leslie’s case, she realized that she often got “lost” in her client work and did not inform her internal colleagues in a timely manner or was not proactive in following up or teaming with others on business development and firm activities. This “void” or lapse in communication left her colleagues with questions around if she could be fully relied on or if she had the initiative it took to be a successful partner in the firm. As one managing partner described, “when partner election takes place, you ask yourself, if I went on vacation, would I trust this person with leading my best client account while I was gone?”

Composure: In addition to what we say and how we communicate, others look to leaders to provide a sense of calm and composure when the stakes get high. A leader’s ability to stay anchored and composed during these situations lead to a tremendous amount of credibility and respect from others. In Leslie’s case, high stakes or stress situations often left her visibly anxious, defensive, or appearing harried. Through coaching, Leslie learned new practices and skills in time and energy management that helped her to remain more centered and composed in the face of change or challenge.

Consistency: Finally, others appreciate a leader’s consistency and reliability, building a track record and “bank account” of confidence with others. Consistency of a leader’s “personal best” gives clear evidence of leadership potential as well as offers the leader the “benefit of the doubt” factor when something doesn’t go as smoothly as planned. Ultimately, through consistency of personal best, we inspire confidence not only in others but enjoy the virtuous cycle and additional confidence we feel in ourselves as well.

What impact do you make?  Ask yourself the following questions.

  1. How do others in my life experience me as a leader when I am at my personal best? What’s the impact I make? How consistently am I at my personal best?
  2. How do others in my life experience me as a leader when I am under stress or not at my personal best? What’s the impact I make?
  3. What could I change about my confidence, communication skills, or composure that would inspire others’ confidence in me?

Adapted from Paravis Partners’ Signature Voice for Leaders Program

– Amy Jen Su

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The Age of Authenticity

2021-04-09T10:33:22-04:00April 8, 2016|Leading Others, Muriel Wilkins, Paravis Partners, Presence, Leadership, and Communications|

“To attract followers, a leader has to be many things to many people. The trick is to pull that off while remaining true to yourself.”    – Robert Goffee + Gareth Jones

These days, it seems we cannot turn our head without the word “authenticity” in our faces. If authenticity was a product, it would surely be a hot seller. Clearly, the game of being authentic has become high stakes – – one only needs to watch the pundits square off on presidential hopefuls to see how high stakes it is. But what is authenticity? And, is it really as important as the weight we put on it? When asked the meaning of being authentic, most folks surface ideas of “being true to oneself”, “being comfortable in one’s own skin”, “walking the talk”. The problem is that these are all self-centered attributes focused on how one feels about oneself. According to Webster’s dictionary, authenticity is “a state of being that can be believed, is trusted and deemed reliable.” Authenticity is thereby a relational behavior rather than a self-centered one. To be truly authentic, one must not only be able to be comfortable with herself, but also comfortably connect with others.

Take a coaching client, Mark, a vice-president of a technology company. When we first met, he asked me what I thought of him. Given that I had only briefly interacted with him up to that point, it was a risky question to answer – – yet a very important one given what I had observed thus far. Here was my response: “Clearly you are intelligent, ambitious and passionate about the work that you do. You appear to always have the ‘right’ answer to my questions yet I wonder if they are your ‘real’ answers. I feel like you tell me what you think I want to hear. So I’ll be curious to find out if others in your organization are experiencing you the same way.” My response was a hypothesis – – his 360 feedback from his peers and boss provided the data to drive the point home. Mark was seen as someone whom you never knew where he stood on the issues nor where you stood with him. His colleagues had over time lost trust in him because they were never sure if what he said was truly what he meant. This was a clear example of showing lack of authenticity because of an inability to be comfortable with one’s own perspective, stance and direction nor connecting to what others need. As a leader, others want to know where you stand so they know whether to follow or walk with you – – they do not want to have to guess or be blindsided midstream.

While there is not a quick fix to increasing one’s authenticity, there are several focus areas that will certainly help you get on a positive path. We refer to them as the 3 P’s: Point of View, Position, and Personal History.

Point of View: By articulating his point of view on organizational issues, challenges and disagreements, Mark became more comfortable speaking his mind and being challenged on it. Having a point of view is critical to being authentic. Being open and willing to engage in exchanges on that point of view accentuates your leadership even further by demonstrating both strength and flexibility in the midst of challenges and change.

Positioning: While taking a position is important, over-positioning yourself within an organization is detrimental. Know the difference between navigating the political waters of your organization vs. actually becoming the politics itself. Mark became more forthright in his efforts to implement change in the organization – – rather than working primarily behind the scenes, he encouraged an open forum on the issues. Get support for your initiatives but be transparent about what you are doing, why you are doing it and how you are doing it.

Personal History: At the core, one needs to connect with their personal history and identify the key events, messages, people that shaped who they are today. Growing up, Mark did not come from a privileged socio- economic background. When he was sent to elite schools at a young age, the message he received was “to survive in this system, you need to watch your back and not rock the boat.” While that message might have served him well then, it was no longer serving him in the corporate leadership world. Exploring your personal history will often surface messages that are worth reexamining in order to truly express your authentic self.

As the path to Election 2016 continues and we watch with interest the pundits argue who is authentic and who is not, reflect on your own path: if you were the candidate, what would we be saying about your authenticity?

What’s your path to authenticity?

  1. What do people think you stand for? What point of view do you take on the various dimensions of your work and personal life?
  2. Observe how you navigate your organization and your relationships. To what extent do you seek to understand and consider other’s agendas without becoming too chameleon-like?
  3. What steps can you take tomorrow to engender trust from others yet remain true to yourself?

– Muriel Maignan Wilkins

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Leadership Engagement: Managing YOUR Vision and Purpose

2021-04-09T11:42:31-04:00April 8, 2016|Leading Self, Muriel Wilkins, Paravis Partners|

Take the next two minutes and write down your personal mission and vision. Tick, tock, tick, tock. Are you writing or are you locked in a state of fear/ disbelief/ cynicism? It is amazing how many leaders can promptly

articulate their organization’s mission…. But asked for their personal mission or vision statement, they are stumped. They’ve spent countless days, weeks, months hashing out what the organization represents and what it aspires to be in the marketplace but not a second articulating the same for themselves. What they don’t realize is that to be an effective and engaged leader, one must not only skillfully manage the organization’s vision…. They must also be adept at managing their personal vision.

Take James, for example, a former Paravis coaching client who is a Senior Vice President at an investment management firm. For years, James had been superbly successful. He had attended the best schools, worked at top-notch companies, and was quickly becoming a leader in his field and firm. By all accounts, James was a successful person. But James felt something lacking. He acknowledged that he was proud of all his accomplishments… yet he was starting to feel less and less engaged with his work. He realized that while he was busy fulfilling his firm’s mission, he had lost sight of his own mission. Upon further reflection, James realized that he did not have a vision for his own life. And as a result, he was unclear as to whether all his efforts were anchored in what was important to him. James’ busyness and doing, doing, doing were certainly building up to some enviable results… the real question was, were James’ results aligned with what he wanted for his life?

As an executive once said during a coaching discussion, “The more senior you become, the more critical it becomes for you to constantly assess whether there is an intersection between what you want for your life and where your organization is heading. Without that intersection, you are on a slippery slope to disengagement. And a disengaged leader is an ineffective leader.” Finding out what you want for your life is not always easy because it often requires making trade-offs. That said, part of maturing as a leader, is the ability to see the choices and options in front of you and put a stake in the ground on which you select.

In James’ case, we had him take a TOP-down approach to figuring out the personal piece of the formula:

  1. Think: The first step was to THINK. James took a step back and took a few moments every day over a month to jot down things that were important to him and how he wanted to live his life. His final list included statements like “I want every interaction I have to be engaging”, “I want adventure in my life”, “At some point in my life, I need to create and build something from nothing”. These were all statements that were anchored in who James is as a person and his life experiences without judgment… they are right for James but may not be right for someone else.
  2. Observe: The second step was to OBSERVE. Once James had articulated what he would like his life to look like, he took the time to observe two things: (a) to what extent was he currently living out his vision, and (b) to what extent was there opportunity in his current organization to support living out his vision. Much to James’ surprise, he realized that he had spent so much energy focused on what was missing from his work, that he had overlooked the possibility of how much his work could be a supporting pillar of his personal vision.
  3. Plan: The third step was to PLAN. With a good sense of what he wanted overall for his life and a new appreciation for how work fit in the picture, James could now get tactical in terms of planning not only a few years out but also day-to-day. He made it a habit to look at his calendar a month out and determine where there was opportunity both at work and beyond work to fulfill his vision.

While James’ 3-step process sounds simple, it certainly isn’t easy. It takes the discipline, maturity and willingness to take a hard and deep look at yourself, your work and your life. But if you make the investment, you will reap the benefits of taking your leadership engagement to the next level.

How can you define and manage YOUR personal vision and purpose?  Ask yourself,

  1. What do you want your life to look like 5 years from now, 10 years from now, 20 years from now?
  2. What do you want to be known for and by whom?
  3. Look at how you live your life today – – personally and professionally – – to what extent does what you see support what you articulated in question 1?
  4. What one or two things can you either pick up or let go of in the next month that put you closer to your vision? In the next year?

– Muriel Maignan Wilkins

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Update Yourself: Who Am I Today?

2021-04-09T10:34:06-04:00April 8, 2016|Amy Jen Su, Leading Self, Paravis Partners|

I think of a scene from the Disney version of Cinderella, when the heroine sees herself in the dress for the first time and realizes she is a beauty. It’s like the scene when the young hero first puts on his military uniform and becomes who he is. There is a magical click of recognition when the looking glass says back, “Yes, we are what we dream.” –Julia Cameron, Walking in this World

All too often we get caught up in the daily demands of our lives – checking off our to-do lists, meeting deadlines, checking our PDA devices. The speed of life keeps us on auto-pilot, masking the inherent growth and accomplishment we make each day. However, tremendous power exists in understanding where we are and who we are becoming – such self-awareness fuels our expansion as leaders, increasing our overall self-worth and confidence. With such positive benefit, what then comprises a practice of updating oneself?

Acknowledge Yourself

The first step is to consciously acknowledge ourselves. We too often dismiss this or look to the external world for approval or self-validation. For some of us, we find it easier to focus on what we have not completed or goals unmet, keeping us in a cycle of self-criticism and judgment.

Take Tom, a principal in a global consulting firm. Despite a great track record and strong first year as a principal, Tom experienced anxiety around his performance and future. His self-confidence and presence weakened by an underlying sense of overall hesitation. As part of our coaching work, I asked Tom to create a list of things he was most proud of across all areas of his life for the last year.

Most surprising to Tom was the sheer scope of his list, going well beyond work goals and milestones. He was actually most proud of his growth as a leader and his increasing ability to motivate and develop his team. He also acknowledged himself for his role as father and husband amidst heavy work demands. For Tom, the very act of writing his list lifted a huge weight off his shoulders. His acknowledgement of himself not only provided anxiety relief but also strengthened what was important to him, what he valued, and where to better focus his attention and energy for the next year.

Let Go

In addition to acknowledgement, the updating process also includes the ability to let go. Letting go is an intentional recognition of those things or people that no longer serve us or get in our way – anything that keeps us stuck in the past or tied to a future out of reach. Memories and sentiment are wonderful as are goals and vision – but not when we use our past or future to hold us “smaller” than we really are today.

For Tom, the updating process included shedding old beliefs about himself and others, shifting from seeing himself as more junior and great at executing work to now realizing he was a firm leader, a market maker generating business for the firm. In our work together, Tom also considered how even tangible items such as old files, office clutter, and his professional dress reflected a younger, less experienced version of himself.

Take Your Place

Updating oneself is not about “puffing oneself” up or learning to be more arrogant. In fact, the opposite is true. We use it as an opportunity to learn and integrate from our experiences – a time to reflect, take stock, and allow our accomplishments, growth, and new skills cement and solidify.

There is great humility in such a process when we slow down to get in touch with what is present today. We no longer fear to take our place in this world and occupy it fully. Our impact on others becomes far greater as our consistency, clarity, and confidence frees them to find and do the same.

The first step in seeing our true size is cultivating the ability to acknowledge ourselves. The very act can become a “looking glass” or mirror with powerful information:

  1. What are you most proud of the past three quarters? (this can include accomplishments, new experiences, great moments, new skills gained, how you handled a difficult situation etc).
  2. What have you learned from the items on your list?
  3. What does this list suggest about your values, character, and commitments?

– Amy Jen Su

 

 

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“In the Heat of the Moment” – Why It’s Really Not About the Other Person

2021-04-09T10:30:24-04:00April 8, 2016|Amy Jen Su, Leading Self, Paravis Partners|

Regardless of the season, many of our clients are feeling the dial get turned up with difficult relationships at work. While context differs, the net is the same: “let me tell you what is wrong with the other person”, “he/she did something to me”, “I can’t believe his/her behavior.”

Sound familiar? Now, add up the costs in productivity by staying “hooked into” the drama of your favorite workplace “villain”. When we realize that we can’t change others (despite all of our attempts to control or manipulate), the real question becomes how can we leverage our most difficult or tension-filled relationships into learning and growth opportunities for ourselves?

1) Get in Touch with Values

Take Linda, a senior leader in a professional services firm, constantly at odds with Tom, a peer. Linda would spend hours in coaching and with friends replaying the details of their interactions. “You should have seen him in this last meeting – as usual, poking holes, seeing only the negative, and being condescending.”

Rather than keeping the focus on Tom, we challenged Linda to shift the focus on herself – what was her reaction to Tom telling us about Linda and her values? For two weeks, she tracked when she felt aligned to her values and when she experienced a “values violation.”

Linda uncovered two things – first, she had a value around supporting and acknowledging others and being supported and acknowledged by others. She was pleased to describe how her values had manifested in her leadership style and relationships with staff, clients, friends, and family. On the other hand, Linda took pause at the realization of unspoken expectations she had of others to hold these same values. She realized when these were absent in her interactions, she experienced frustration, anger, and vulnerability to the opinion of others.

2) Discover New Development Opportunities

When Linda was upset about Tom, she would talk about “Tom’s “selfishness, putting himself before others, and wanting to be in the limelight” – all behaviors she felt were in violation of her values of teaming and collaboration.

At the same time, Linda’s recent promotion to a more executive level, did require that she place more emphasis on market place visibility and be more judicious in her use of time to meet executive responsibilities. Linda spoke of feeling exhausted and wishing she had more time for herself and family.

The big irony of our often perceived “nemeses” is that they help to shine light on the very parts of ourselves we are in conflict with or unconsciously have not come to terms with. For Linda, she needed to see the fine line between upholding a value of teaming versus being a martyr to protect a self-image of “being a good person”. While it was difficult to acknowledge, she realized what Tom was especially adept at – setting boundaries, personal self-care, and networking in the market – were the very skills she needed to add to her repertoire to achieve better balance and continued success.

3) Remember the Power of Choice

For Linda, a new sense of empowerment emerged when she realized perhaps this was not about Tom, but herself and her own habituated reactions to Tom, which were within her control.

Linda realized rather than staying in a “victim’s stance”, she had choice in sharing more directly her expectations with others – i.e./ “for today’s meeting, I’d like to first hear the positive aspects about what’s working well with the new systems interface. And then, in the 2nd half, I’d like to gather your ideas for continued improvement.”

With Tom, she actually found new perspective as she reflected on his values of self-sufficiency and marketplace production. Their relationship improved as Linda took things in her own hands to be more forthright about who she was and what she expected while also aligning to her values by supporting Tom and acknowledging his values.

The next time you find yourself charged up, remember Ronald Heifetz’s phrase, “Going to the Balcony” to step back, gain your composure, and look at what’s going on from an objective place. Is your frustration actually a ‘values violation’ with someone else – how can you share your expectations and values while also learning more about the other’s person’s values and expectations? Is there a conflict within yourself that the other person is bringing to the surface in an uncomfortable way?

Use your painful reactions to others as an opportunity to hold up the mirror. Use that information to drive more intentional, strategic choices for how you communicate and choose to engage. Who knows, one day, when looking back, you may actually be thankful for all that relationship offered.

Reflection: Taking Things Personally

“Don’t take anything personally…nothing others do is because of you…when you are immune to the opinion and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering…personal importance, or taking things personally, is the maximum expression of selfishness because we make the assumption that everything is about “me”. (Don Miguel Ruiz, Author of the Four Agreements)

Take a moment to reflect on a recent difficult interaction with another person:

  1. Did you take it personally? Did you blame the other person for the interaction and feel victim to judgment, insult, or comments?
  2. How did you react in the situation? What other choices did you have/do you have in responding?
  3. What have you learned about your values or potential areas for growth based on your interaction?

– Amy Jen Su

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Learning from Steve Jobs: Connecting the Dots

2021-04-09T10:29:33-04:00April 8, 2016|Leading Self, Leading the Business, Paravis Partners|

The icon may be gone but Steve Jobs has certainly left his mark – on an industry, a country, the world. By all accounts he was certainly the definition of visionary, and he seemingly found his own signature way of driving execution at Apple. There’s so much that we can learn from him about leadership. However, the story that stands out to me as I’ve read accounts of his life is this one he told in his graduation speech at Stanford in 2005:

“Because I had dropped out [of college] and didn’t have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can’t capture, and I found it fascinating.

None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. … Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.”

While most of the world marches to the drumbeat of required classes, standardized tests and lock-step career paths, becoming more narrow and linear along the way, one of the biggest innovators (and job creators!) in our country made his success because he simply followed what he found fascinating. He gave himself permission to try new things and trusted somehow that his portfolio of interesting experiences would perhaps lead somewhere new and exciting. The Mac came from someone who had laid down lots of “dots” in his life, and found ways to connect them along the way.

I’ve seen many clients find great success, appearing very human and very authentic, and finding innovative answers, when they’re willing to connect disparate dots in their life to their work. It’s the hard-core scientist who supports a confused colleague through a poem he remembered from college, or the leader/musician who powerfully clarifies his role and vision for the organization by metaphorically saying he sees himself as the “conductor of the orchestra”.

While college and a degree(s) are likely a stock part of your resume, and you may not be inclined to quit your job to fulfill that long-held desire to be a celebrity chef or join an ashram, how can you intentionally create more “dots”, or connect the ones you’ve laid down, to find new possibilities in your work?

1) Engage in a creative practice. Find an activity that fascinates you and engages you in a new way – whether it’s taking a pottery class, flying airplanes, trying stand-up comedy or traveling to an exotic place — anything that requires that you get out of your comfort zone and find new ways to experience life. You never know where it may lead ten years down the road! And it’s all in the name of “work”!

2) Look for the next right answer. DeWitt Jones, a former National Geographic photographer is known for sticking with his shoot, even after he thinks he has “the” shot. When you think you (or your team) have “the” answer to a perplexing problem, or a visionary idea, don’t stop there-keep searching for the next right answer. Something tells me that Steve Jobs probably kept that creative conversation going beyond the first good answer, to find more dots to connect!

3) Find new connections in everyday life. Take two very unrelated ideas and see if you can find how they are related. Consider the latest intractable problem you’re facing, and just keep asking yourself very lightly throughout your day “how might this inform my thinking?” It could be as you’re reading the paper about the latest economic analysis of Greece, watching your son’s soccer coach run a practice, reading Dr. Seuss to your kids before bed, or seeing Les Mis at the Kennedy Center. How might each of those activities provide a new perspective on your situation?

Steve Jobs was certainly one-of-a-kind and his spirit of following his fascinations and trusting that the dots will connect is a legacy that continues to live on –for the sake of our economy and our humanity.

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Overcoming the ‘Grey Hair’ Complex

2021-04-09T10:34:48-04:00April 8, 2016|Leading Self, Muriel Wilkins, Paravis Partners|

Your palms are sweaty. You stumble over your words. You don’t seem to be getting a clear message across. You look around the table – – everyone is more senior than you… both in age and title. You wonder if they will ever take you seriously. Sound familiar? If so, you are among many who experience the “Grey Hair” complex. The “grey hair” complex is a self-induced state of intimidation in the presence of more senior executives. It often begins with the false conviction that one would have more credibility if only they had the physical attributes that convey a higher level of seniority – – that physical attribute is often aptly summarized as “grey hair” connoting experience, wisdom and credibility. Dealing with the grey hair complex requires more than just changing your physical appearance… it requires conditioning oneself in three areas: Mental, Technical and Physical*.

Mental Conditioning: Believe That You Belong

A key success factor to conveying confidence in any given situation is determined by how you see yourself in that situation. In order to feel confident in the face of more senior executives, one must carry beliefs that support them in that effort. Mark, a client, had been a star at managing consulting teams for his firm. He was recently promoted to Senior Manager and was in line for partnership. But his new role required him to spend much more face time with internal and external senior executives. The time well spent would have a direct impact on his ability to cultivate, manage and convert client relationships into additional firm business. For several months, Mark struggled with the transition and lost confidence in how he interacted with senior individuals. Often the youngest one at the high-level client meetings, he deferred to the more senior partners with him. He hesitated to challenge his senior clients with questions or his point of view. While Mark wished for the day when executives would see him as a peer, he refused to see himself as such. Because he did not believe that he had a place at the table, his impact was limited. Mark’s first requirement was to replace this limiting belief with one that actually helped him – – namely, that he brought value to these interactions through his knowledge and his superior ability to help clients identify and articulate their needs.

Technical Conditioning: Communicate Like You Belong

Feeling intimidated by more senior individuals often leads to one of two outcomes in terms of how one communicates: either you overcompensate by aggressively advocating your points of view, emphasizing your accomplishments, proving your expertise or you undermine yourself by not saying much, hesitating in your responses and acquiescing to other’s knowledge above your own. Needless to say, neither is an effective strategy to making a strong impression on anyone! To overcome these blunders, one must prepare themselves by mastering core communication techniques. Chief among these techniques is the ability to helicopter up and speak from the executive’s perspective taking into account their issues, agenda, and the decisions they have to make. Another is the ability to communicate value in terms of what you bring to the table and the results (rather than the process) of your work. Mark often got mired in the details when communicating with his high level clients thereby missing the opportunity to make an impact with the insights he could provide. He practiced having two to three key messages in his back pocket before every meeting. He became eloquent in crisply summarizing at least three prior engagements so that he could provide that information at opportune times. He developed his own messaging of what his firm does rather than relying on canned marketing speak. In essence, Mark conditioned himself for the expected, leaving his “thinking on his feet” energy for those situations that were least predictable.

Physical Conditioning: Look Like You Belong

Beyond the genetics one is born with, one should certainly consider what physical attributes within one’s control negatively impact their executive presence. The culprits are often dress, voice and posture. On casual Fridays, Mark wore his version of casual – – his favorite khakis with now-frayed cuffs and his scuffed up but comfortable loafers. Certainly not an attire that screams credibility to a senior audience. Mark reworked his Friday wardrobe to reflect a comfortable yet confident persona. After seeing himself on video, Mark realized that his voice often betrayed him – – the pace of his speech would quicken the more uncomfortable he was in a situation. With the help of breathing exercises, Mark learned to slow down in the moment and be more deliberate with his points. Lastly, Mark realized that the way he held himself – his posture – held him back. Instead of taking his typical stance of casually leaning back in his chair at meetings, he began leaning forward, hands on the table and making good use of his physical presence to express himself.

While one cannot control their audience, Mark realized that there are many things within his control that he could use to enhance his impact at the executive level. And not one of those things included feigning to be older than he really is!

* Adapted from the Paravis Partner Signature Voice for Leaders Program

– Muriel Maignan Wilkins

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Start Thinking and Stop Doing: A Roadmap to Thinking Strategically

2021-04-09T10:28:58-04:00April 8, 2016|Leading Self, Leading the Business, Nina Bowman, Paravis Partners|

We all know that thinking strategically is important, but we have a hard time doing so when we’re simply trying to keep our heads above water with the day-to-day tasks that consume our time and energy. In our “get it done“ corporate cultures, we have somehow forgotten that “thinking”, and not just “doing”, is work. If we want to be viewed as a leader who thinks strategically, we must embrace the reality that staying in the weeds puts us on the fast track to nowhere. Whether you look within your organization, or to the iconic leaders of our time, you will find that those who stand out and make a real difference focus their time and attention on answering the BIG questions and thinking strategically.

To evolve your journey towards strategic thinking, check your mindset, skills, perspective and schedule.

  1. Check your Mindset
    How do you feel about strategy? Our view of strategic thinking and the strategy process is often colored by the number of strategic plans that end up collecting dust on the shelf. This makes us hesitant to engage in strategic discussions and planning processes. It’s important that we separate the poor application of strategic planning processes from the importance of strategic thinking. Checking mindset also reminds us to tame the aspects of our personality that keep us from being more inquisitive and curious. Those with a penchant for being more risk averse, please take note!
  1. Check your Perspective
    Thinking strategically requires expanding your perspective from several angles and aligning your own efforts to the goals of your organization and the needs of the market. Ask yourself, “Do I know what’s most important to my CEO? My customers? The competition? What is the division’s or department’s strategy? What is the corporate strategy?” As I work with clients to broaden their strategic thinking abilities, I often start by asking the client to meet with individuals from other departments or to read from different sources, such as the Harvard Business Review or The Futurist. Over time, the focus on others’ views, perspectives, and needs helps to release the myopic view that has a hold on so many managers.
  1. Check your Skills
    Thinking like a strategist is part art and part science. And yes, you can get up to speed by reading the works of seminal authors on the topic, such as Michael Porter, Gary Hamel, C.K. Prahalad, and Kenichi Ohmae, or more recent authors, such as W. Chan Kim and Renee Mauborgne (authors of Blue Ocean Strategy). You can also become proficient in conducting SWOT Analysis, Porter’s Five Forces, and in building strategy maps courtesy of Robert Kaplan and David Norton. However, thinking strategically is, first and foremost, about being open to ideas, being willing to explore concepts, having comfort with ambiguity and uncertainty, and flexing your curiosity muscles. To improve your skills, simply focus on increasing your inquiry skills. Instead of leaning on your technical expertise to provide answers, ask questions, such as: What will the impact be on our customers? How will this impact department XYZ? What are our options for dealing with the problem? What if our competitors respond by doing….? How might this trend impact our business? Is there another way?
  1. Check your Schedule
    Your daily and weekly schedule should be reflective of your priorities, and as a leader, preparing answers and strategies to the “big” questions about your business must be a priority. If 100% of your time is spent fighting fires and handling the problem of the day, start by carving out a couple of hours each week for strategic reflection or small group discussions on key strategic issues. If possible, make it the same time each week so that you and your staff create the habit of building in time to think. Having trouble finding those hours? Look no further than your delegation skills. Making time for strategic reflection and thinking will often require moving other work off of your plate. While difficult, the benefits are clear – you will have time to grow your strategic chops while building the capacity of your direct reports to learn and develop.

Thinking more strategically is a different cognitive process and ability for many. It takes patience, courage and a conscious effort to hone and develop. However, the skills position you well for providing inspirational and strategic leadership to your organization. It’s well worth the journey!

– Nina Bowman

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Focus: Transforming Overwhelm into Efficiency

2021-04-09T10:35:24-04:00April 8, 2016|Amy Jen Su, Leading Self, Paravis Partners|

In a world filled with endless choice, opportunity, and instant communication, we manage plates too full, run on auto-pilot, and multi-task to keep our heads above water. In our effort to “get it done”, we have lost the joy of the process, leaving many things, ironically, incomplete. Yet, research has shown that focus is an essential ingredient to leading a successful and fulfilled life. How then do we build and cultivate the quality of focus?

Make Decisions and Stick to Them

Breakdowns in focus often occur before we begin. We skip the very foundation necessary for true focus to exist – making a conscious decision and then sticking to it. This includes everything from choosing our life’s work and determining the priorities for our teams, down to clarifying what we will accomplish in a given day. Focus begins with setting intentions, declaring our commitments, and then acting directly from these. While decisions are not locked in stone, there is value to making them, sticking to them, and then consciously adjusting them when need be. Conscious adjustment is different than consistent indecision and worry.

A client, Susan, struggled for many years with focus before settling into her current role as a principal in a marketing-services firm. “I’ve always been interested in many things that it has been hard to choose a career path – even now, I find myself distracted wondering if I should be following my life’s passion of working in non-profit.”

Eliminate/Manage Distractions

Maintaining focus is not only hard on the big decisions in life but also difficult in our daily lives as well. After two weeks of self-observation, Susan uncovered two key sources of “focus saboteurs”. First, unexpected requests from other people, which she usually responded to immediately, interrupted her flow of work. Second, she became conscious of how frequently she responded to email to procrastinate on high priority work that she either did not enjoy or required a significant chunk of “thinking time” to complete.

Create Systems & Structure

Armed with her patterns, Susan experimented with new systems to support her focus. She created a “filtering” system for handling the influx of requests. She blocked two early morning “work chunks” when her energy was highest for reflective time for her higher priority strategic work and administrative responsibilities she did not enjoy. More difficult was designating times to respond to email in blocks versus answering each one as they came in. Her biggest breakthrough came when she realized she would revisit her larger life question of career path at periodic points in the year with greater consciousness (versus having it “buzz” in the background) and be engaged with her current work on a daily basis.

Cultivate the Quality of Focus

Short-term, structures and systems can support our focus, but ultimately we must cultivate the quality of our focus for highest impact. This involves shifting the hard-wiring in our bodies filled with anxiety, tension, and “pushing” to flow, attentiveness, and presence when engaged in an activity. Quality of focus ensures that when we are working on a document, we’re fully engaged in the process. When we’re with our families, then we are fully present with them versus thinking about work deliverables.

Cultivating this quality of focus requires slowing down, engaging in meditative practices designed to build awareness and attention, and quieting ourselves enough to really “hear” what we want. Susan learned that the big paradox in all of this was that by actually slowing herself down, she became more efficient – now eliminating many things on her list that were there because she lacked focus in the first place.

Reflection Questions:

Flow is the mental state of operation in which the person is fully immersed in what he or she is doing, characterized by a feeling of energized focus, full involvement, and success in the process of the activity.” –Wikipedia Encyclopedia

As we nurture the quality, style, and attitude of our focus – we begin to experience greater flow with life – we swim with the current of our lives, versus against it, with greater ease, confidence, and contentment. We use and replenish our energy, accept what is there, and literally “go with the flow”.

  1. In what area of your life would having greater focus benefit you?
  2. Throughout your day, what distracts you from your highest priorities or intentions?
  3. Throughout your day, what conditions were in place when you experienced great focus or flow?
  4. What new systems, structures, or practices could further support your ability to focus?

– Amy Jen Su

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Leadership: To Serve or To Be Served?

2021-04-09T11:41:23-04:00April 8, 2016|Leading Others, Muriel Wilkins, Paravis Partners|

Great ambition without contribution is without significance. What will your contribution be? How will history remember you? – From the movie “The Emperor’s Clothes”

Much has been written about “servant leadership”, a term coined by Robert Greenleaf in the 1970s and espoused by others over the past few decades. In reality, the concept of serving others through leadership and its principles have been in practice and encouraged for centuries. But on a day-to-day basis, how does a corporate leader or manager reconcile the ideas of “leading” and “serving”? To start, one must look at their attitude, their actions and their aspirations.

Attitude

What one believes about being a leader and serving will in large part drive their ability to adopt such principles. Take for example, Ken, a VP at a major technology company, whom I coached. Ken’s approach to managing his unit was that his staff exists to help him reach the division goals. In fact, while he could not initially see nor admit it, his attitude was one of “you are here to serve me” rather than “I am here to serve you”. It was no surprise, therefore, that Ken experienced significant turnover in his group and complaints about his autocratic management style ran rampant throughout the organization. With a heavy dose of feedback, Ken realized the benefit of flipping his script. If he could channel his energy to helping his team achieve the goals rather than seeing his staff solely as a means to his end, his results as a leader would have far better yield.

Action

While attitude is the place to start, follow-through is critical. How does a leader’s day-to-day actions embrace the principle of serving? At its core, a servant leader’s actions demonstrate consistent consideration of others’ agendas besides his/her own. This is achieved by the acts of listening, dialoguing, clarifying expectations, and making integrity-driven decisions. Ken, in his efforts to improve his leadership impact, began modifying his actions. He spent time listening to the concerns and ideas of his staff and peer stakeholders. He brought transparency to his decision making whenever possible making it clear that he was taking into consideration what was best for the organization and the relevant stakeholders involved. Over time, his consistent actions enabled him to more strongly lead his group through stressful, ambiguous situations.

Aspirations

Holding a posture of servant leadership requires one to examine their goals: what do you hope for? These are aspirations beyond the immediate business deliverables at hand. Rather, they reflect a desire to make an impact that remains long after the leader is gone from the position. When I asked Ken what he wants to be remembered for in this role once he moves to another opportunity, he realized that beyond over exceeding the business objectives, he wanted his team and clients to remember him as someone they would want to work with again because of what they learned from him. As a servant leader, one must aspire to make an impact beyond one’s own ambitious or material needs. It is this ability to look and strive beyond self-focus that enables a person to lead by serving.

Take some time to examine your leadership approach. What changes can you make in your attitude, actions, and aspirations, to allow serving to be part of your leadership repertoire all year long?

Reflection Questions:

Leading by serving means looking beyond oneself to the contribution you can make to others. This does not necessarily mean following in the world-changing footsteps of a Mahatma Ghandi or Martin Luther King, Jr. Rather, every manager has the ability to make contribution in their day-to-day role.

  1. What drives you to lead?
  2. What would it mean for you to “serve rather than be served” in your current role?
  3. How would serving strengthen your leadership impact?

– Muriel Maignan Wilkins

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Cascading Information on Organizational Change

2021-04-09T10:28:19-04:00April 8, 2016|Amy Jen Su, Leading Others, Leading the Business, Paravis Partners|

What do you get when you cross “leadership presence” and “leading change”, two hot topics in leadership development today? As executive coaches, we sometimes see the two leadership skills come together seamlessly, but more often than not, we see the “cascade collide”! Think back to the last time you had to cascade an organizational decision, policy change or reorganization. What did you do? Let’s take a quick quiz. Did you:

  1. Go passive – saying to yourself inside your head, “If I stay quiet and passive during this, then maybe my team will know that I’m not really behind this. I don’t want to potentially say something out of turn relative to my peers or I’ll let others do the dirty work.”
  2. Absolve responsibility – saying to a direct report, “”I agree. This is such a bad situation. We have no say in these things anyway. I completely think this stinks too.”
  3. Use brute force — saying to your team, “Stop whining and just do it.”
  4. Own and lead the change cascading effectively, “There’s no doubt the current environment is challenging. Here are the reasons I believe this is important. Here’s what I see ahead for us. I encourage all of us to stay open and in dialogue around how we can move forward together.”

If you answered d, then don’t waste your time and stop reading now! If you answered a-c (or if you have a direct report who might be having trouble), then keep reading on. There are three key steps below that could increase your overall leadership presence and your change results.

Step 1: Drive Alignment. Too often, the meetings to plan for cascading don’t take place or are not effectively handled. Leaders spend so much time on the decision that they run out of steam when it comes time to work on how to communicate the decision. Who are the key stakeholders involved here? Senior leadership, another set of peers in a different function, certain direct reports you need to coach ahead of time? Get in front of it and make sure all know what the decision is about and are aligned around the “Why” before they cascade. Or if you realize you are lacking information from those above to effectively cascade, seek what information you need. But, what if the problem is you? You personally don’t believe? Put on your organizational hat and spend time connecting the decision to the mission or corporate ambition – this isn’t about your voicing your personal views, rather what connects to the business’ ultimate purpose. You can’t help others do that, until you’ve done that work first for yourself.

Step 2: Craft the Message. Leaders often fall short by communicating only “what” the decision is. Others are uncomfortable to cascade because they believe they have to be a disingenuous cheerleader. Craft three key parts of the message beyond the “what”.

Don’t sugar coat the reality of the situation. When you are asking people to embrace something new and different, there is nothing worse than the “pollyana” who doesn’t acknowledge the challenge. Stick to the facts versus moaning along or shoving it under the rug. Acknowledge the era which has passed, the good job achieved, and the realities of the new situation.

Focus on the “Why”. Be sure your organization understands why this decision is the best one for the organization (and, yes for the organization – not necessarily for you, your team, or others you know). If you’re short on time to prep, double down on your effort here.

Paint the Way Forward. Grab the leadership moment and paint the picture for what’s ahead. Keep the dialogue open to help folks end, explore, and take hold of a new way. As JFK once said, “Effort and courage are not enough without purpose and direction.”

Step 3: Motivate and Inspire. As those around you experience high beta and change, be the anchoring force. Stay on message and be consistent, across all forums — from what you share at the all hands meetings and even more important what’s shared in those 5 minute informal conversations in the hallway. Remember you’ve had a lot more time to digest the decisions made and people deeper in the organization will be at a different starting point. Create check-in points or meetings which allow open dialogue to continue and give you ample opportunities to hear what people’s experiences are, answer questions about the realities of the situation, the “why”, and the way forward.

Do you have an organizational change or message you need to cascade soon? How are you going to get in front of it this time?

– Amy Jen Su

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